영어 문장 어색한거 있으면 고쳐 주세요!

영어로 자기소개 영상 3분으로 만들어서 보내는건데요.

항공사에 직접 보내는건 아니고 비행 아카데미에 보내는 영상이에요. 구어체로 말해야 하는걸 염두해 두고 적었습니다.

외국인들이 듣기에 어색한 문장같은거 있으면 지적해주세요! 

Hi, my name is OO. I'm from Seoul, South Korea.

I majored in OO at OO University and worked at Pharmaceutical companies as a salesperson. I quit the job because there's no work and life balance. I worried about my health because I had to went out for drinks after work with my co-workers or with my customers. And, mostly, I like to work in work environment that has a fixed scheduled. So I decided to join this field.

I learned to flight in OO where located in east side of the Korea. That area has always strong wind so it's not easy for leaning flight. But it was good chance for me to become a professional and skilled pilot. Now I have confident to flight in inclement weather conditions.

And personally, I had a chance to learn flight from several Instructors, because 3 of my instructors are joined airline company while they are teaching me, so I know how to communicate with different types of people. I'm sure it will be helpful for CRM* and work with captains as a second officer( 부기장 ).

And I studied English in the Philippines and Australia. I stayed in Philippines as a student and worked in Australia with my Working Holiday Visa. I have been studying English until now with various methods like using skype, meeting international friends or having group activity with people who has interest in learning English. So now I have a basic communication skills in english and that helped me to flight in the State. After I finish my lessons at OO I went to the State for building my flight time. I had to do all things by myself, speaking english only, include ATC**. And that experience makes me to realize how it is important to speak and understand english to become a good pilot. So now I study english harder.

As far as I know there's no Korean pilot at OO Airline yet. So I want to be a first Korean pilot flying at OO Airline. Thank you.

CRM*: 기장과 부기장사이의 커뮤니케이션 , ATC**: 조종사와 타워관제사 사이의 커뮤니케이션